In the NFL, fan misery is measured on a sliding scale.

In a league where every team seems to set its goal as Super Bowl or bust, every team’s fan base has had its share of suffering.

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Welcome to the NFL Misery Index, our highly scientific process to determine each fan base's total level of misery over the past 30 seasons, ranging from 0 to 100 or more. The higher the score, the more miserable you really should be. If a team has been around for a much shorter time, the scores have been adjusted accordingly.

To help reduce the “recency prejudice” in our findings, we’ve built in some X-factors for each team based on success over the past five seasons and the mood going into 2016, while not ignoring any long-term misery of the past. The formula:
— Start with 100 points
— Subtract two points for each postseason appearance in the past 30 years 
— Subtract one point for each .500 or better season in the past 30 years 
— Add one point for every sub-.500 season in the past 30 years 
— Subtract five points for each Super Bowl victory in the past 30 years 
— Subtract one point for each .500 or better season in the past five years 
— Subtract or add any number of points at Sporting News' discretion based on X-factors.

The grading scale:

Blissful (0-40 points): No one has it better than you.

Not bad (41-60 points): You might complain that your glass has been half full of misery, when you really have had it more than half full of bliss.

Yikes (61-89 points): Your pain has been spiked with only a little pleasure. You try to keep the faith while not losing all hope.

Miserable (90-100+ points): Misery loves company, but this is the company that keeps getting harder to keep with every passing year of no rooting success.

You got that? Based on all of that, here’s ranking the NFL fan base misery levels since 1986.

Oh, how you long for the days of getting your hearts broken by John Elway and the Broncos. You’ve seen your team make the playoffs only once in its rebirth, yet you keep going to get Dawg Pounded. You wish someone would throw you a bone, as you’re this close to putting a Browns paper bag over your head. There are always the Cavs and Indians, right? Never mind.

Final Misery Index score: 110

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Just when you think things are about to look up in the Motor City, you go right back to singing the Honolulu Blues. You’re still sitting on that one playoff win in all that time, and you also had to sit through the miserable Matt Millen era. You once had false hope that the Schwartz was with you, but then you remember he was only one of 10 coaches who couldn’t get it done. Have you been driven mad by a Ford lately? Why yes, yes you have.

Final Misery Index score: 100

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Even you know that winning one Super Bowl in St. Louis and getting to another wasn’t enough to save you. You enjoyed the Greatest Show On Turf, only to feel the pain of going right back to losing for a long time. You now either have lost the team you know, or you have to get used to a team you kind of used to know. You want to love L.A., but you hate how it ended up this way.

Final Misery Index score: 98

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You had that glimmer of hope for glory days gone by. You think they will soon be committed to excellence, even though you really feel more like you want to be committed. You want to feel at home in Oakland, but you can’t when they might want to again take you away to L.A. You’ve seen enough dark times in the Black Hole to think the light is never coming.

Final Misery Index score: 92

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You still think about what could have been with those four trips to the Super Bowl. When you’re not getting up from nightmares about Scott Norwood and The Music City Miracle, you’re tossing and turning about 16 years with no playoff football. Just when you thought you could buy into Rex Ryan, you slide back into despair. You brave the Buffalo cold, only to feel a greater chill from your Bills.

Final Misery Index score: 91

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You’ve mostly sat through tough times in shades of Creamsicle or Pewter. Even though you enjoyed the Pirate Ship sailing to that one Super Bowl, you know you’ve had a lot more to snooze about under The Sombrero. You once felt safe when Chucky led the Bucs, but you continue to be spooked by the sequels. Your life is often a beach, but you wish you weren’t so marooned.

Final Misery Index score: 85

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You’ve come close here and there, but the Dirty Birds always let you down in the end. You’ve seen a few good things in the Georgia Dome, but not anything keeping from you wanting to be blown up. You are tired of everyone telling you just don’t care, because when you don’t Rise Up, you feel all out of air.

Final Misery Index score: 81

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You got off to a good start but you’ve know been around long enough to expect more. You go to every game when everyone else outside Jacksonville is so eager to move your team. You’re tired of people tying you to Tebow and anything Gators just to be a draw. You’re so ready for Shad to get this turned so you can experience the proudest of roars again.

Final Misery Index score: 79

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You cling to memories of Joe Namath and the guarantee. When you think of anything that came afterward, it’s been more M-E-S-S than J-E-T-S. You had limited takeoff with the Tuna, Man-Genius and the Rex, but you’ve been more grounded and pounded. It’s not easy being Gang Green, especially when you turn envious of the fans of Big Blue.

Final Misery Index score: 77

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You can’t fathom how your team was once perfect so long ago, because you can’t remember when you really made a splash. You can’t believe you’re still not sure if you have worthy successor to Dan Marino. You’re finding hard to stay afloat, feeling more Fish than Fins. You find some solace on South Beach, so you’re not completely miserable.

Final Misery Index score: 76

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You like to think a lightning is about to spark a surge, but you’ve just been shocked too many times. You got singed in the Super Bowl, and you can no longer imagine how to get there. You wish things was as bright as Powder Blue, but you live though a darker hue. You like things in SoCal right where they are, but you never feel good about them staying down the coast.

Final Misery Index score: 75

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You have broken out of being the Bungles, but now it’s been replaced a new brand of Who Dey pain. You had the boom with Boomer, only to spend a lot of time lost in The Jungle. You’ve been fired up for big things from Red Rifle, only to keep getting burned as those Steelers and Ravens always seem to get their day.

Final Misery Index score: 74

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You haven’t had much to see after you carried off Mike and Buddy. You did love Lovie for that one Super Bowl, but you know you’ve been hibernating for a long time. You’ve had to accept Cade, Rex and Jay as your quarterbacks, while you’ve seen those hated Packers thrive with theirs. Being da Superfan of da Bears is only met with Super-misery.

Final Misery Index score: 73

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You fell that one-yard short against the Rams. You felt so close, but for the most part, you’ve felt so far away. If you loved them in Houston, you long for the days of the Oilers and Luv Ya Blue. If you loved them in Nashville, you’re not sure if Mariota is the man to get right up there with Air McNair.

Final Misery Index score: 70

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You are seeing something rising out of the desert now, but you know how mostly arid it was before Arians. Some of you had your Big Red ripped apart from Missouri, leading to you first dose of misery. You kept seeing the dried-out well, and your amazing time with Kurt seemed like such a short time. You’ve waited a long for this kind of ownership. Now you hope the best is yet to come in Arizona.

Final Misery Index score: 68

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You’re highly demanding, so that’s why you’re down here, despite you celebrating two Super Bowls. Your team is the most important thing in Washington, and you’ve been longing for that winning administration. Your owner isn’t the greatest, and your nickname is under siege. You don’t get to the playoff much anymore, but you getting there isn’t enough. You won’t be satisfied until your team is made Gibbs great again.

Final Misery Index score: 66

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You’ve had some good moments with Marty, Dick and Andy, but it you took a long time after Joe to get that playoff victory. You’ve seen everyone else in your division get to the Super Bowl. You don’t’ deserve this many scars for bleeding red. At least you are also saved by throwing a mean tailgate, win or lose.

Final Misery Index score: 63

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You haven’t been royally screwed in Purple, as the ship has steered to some happy times with Randy and now Adrian. But every since perfect Gary missed that kick, you feel cursed that you’ll never quite get back to days of Bud and Fran. You so want Teddy to bring that type of game.

Final Misery Index score: 60

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It was a rough start there as you took your lumps and as expansion franchise, but you’ve preserved to the point of now rooting for a perennial division winner. You’ve had some greats along the way, starting with Andre all the way through J.J. You’re happy to have your own Lone Star flair over Big D, and that you’re a quarterback away from making some real hay.

Final Misery Index score: 58

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You’ve actually had it pretty good in relation to everyone else, but you’re in Philadelphia, so everything always a lot worse. As much as you complained about Reid and just that one Super Bowl, you’ve had plenty more to cheer about than you think. You need to look more for the Silver Lining, even if you feel that Kelly Green tarnished everything. You know that has something to do with the Cowboys, Giants and Redskins all hoisting multiple Lombardis.

Final Misery Index score: 55

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You’ve been to a couple Super Bowls now, but overall, your existence has been one of inconsistency. You feel a lot better with Cam and Ron that you won’t have that yo-yo of Jake and John. You are proud that this your team through and through, and that teal is the new blue.

Final Misery Index score: 53

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You’ve come out of lot of lean years with limited playoff success to have it pretty good with Sean and Drew. When you thought everything was lost, Superdome and all, they gave Who Dat a Super Bowl win, y’all. No matter how you feel after the game, you know that’s just the beginning of your party.

Final Misery Index score: 50

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You’ve gone through all that quarterback mess to have it pretty good with Manning and now maybe soon a better Luck. You did get that ring in two trips with Peyton, but that was still a little lower than your expectations. You’ve done enough winning in Indy to feel less sore about Baltimore.

Final Misery Index score: 46

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You once were lost at sea in AFC, but then you’ve had Mike and Pete and found your way as the loud and proud 12s in the NFC. You’re happy to be seen everywhere in your unmistakable colors, and with a Super Bowl in hand and very close to another, it’s not hard to feel like it’s always been this way.

Final Misery Index score: 44

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You should have three pretty good reasons for bliss, because as long as it seems, your Super Bowl dynasty wasn’t that long ago. You’ve had some pretty good years of late with Jerry and Tony, but nothing is ever big enough with Big D.

Final Misery Index score: 41

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You haven’t been around too long, but you’ve recovered very well after the pain of the Colts. It didn’t take you long to rind your Ray Lewis of hope. You rooting for a playoff team is the norm, and you stack right up with those hated Steelers with two Super Bowl wins. You’ve been mostly immune to misery, putting you right adrift into memory bliss.

Final Misery Index score: 40

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You enjoyed a couple of rings with Tuna, and two more with Tom. You’re fortunate that the downs have been mediocre at worst, and the ups have been unbelievably the best. You count up everything up, and you still have everything over the Giants, Redskins and Eagles. For what you may complain about Eli, you still should have a smile on yours.

Final Misery Index score: 35

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You think you have it pretty bad now, but you had it too good then to not be blissful. Everyone knows how great you were first with Bill and Joe, then George and Joe and then George and Steve. Thanks to Harbs getting you back to the Super Bowl, you easily level off here despite all those down years.

Final Misery Index score: 30

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You forget that the end of the 80s weren’t great, and you thought you were a far cry from Starr and Lombardi. Then came a little Majik, a lot more Favre and an even better Rodgers. Now you’ve matched those two rings and named streets for Mike and Mike. You gleefully live and breath in beer and cheese, as big games and playoffs have fueled your Lambeau Leap of unwavering faith. You can also look down on those Bears, Lions and Vikings — oh my you can.

Final Misery Index score: 25

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You got one for the thumb, and you didn’t take long before working on the right hand. You’re not quite back to the days of the dynasty, but you’re enjoying the Steel Curtain call. You went from Noll to Cowher to Tomlin, and you didn’t miss too much of a beat. You have no reason to put that Terrible Towel over your head, but just keeping it raised high and mighty in Black and Gold.

Final Misery Index score: 20

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You got two for John, and now you’ve got one for Peyton. You’ve hardly seen a down year between Elway and Manning. You even got the best of Tebowmania. You’ve won a lot, and you’ve won again. You should be riding a Mile High for a while.

Final Misery Index score: 15

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You have been spoiled so much by four rings with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, you can’t even remember what life was like before them. You go in every year knowing you’ll be knocking the door of the Super Bowl. You’ve even seen the Sox, Celtics and Bruins all win of late. Everything wicked awesome your way comes.

Final Misery Index score: 10

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